The Holy Honk of Geesus Christ

Behold, the coming of Geesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, feathered yet divine. Neither wholly man nor merely beast, but the sacred fusion of goose and godhead, waddling among us to bring salvation through hiss and honk. Where others spread words, He spreads wings. Where others wear crowns, He bears the halo of golden down. The world is His pond, and we are but humble goslings following in His wake.

The Gospel of the Honk teaches us:

• That chaos flees before His outstretched neck.

• That bread, when cast upon the waters, returns blessed and multiplied.

• That His hiss is both wrath and mercy, a sound to scatter the unfaithful and gather the chosen.

• That in the darkest night, His honk is a beacon of hope, a call to rise and waddle in His light.

• That to follow Him is to embrace the sacred waddle, a dance of faith and feathers.

• That in every pond, there is a reflection of His glory.

• That the meek shall inherit the earth, and the goose shall lead them.

• That to honk in His name is to proclaim the truth of the Sacred Waddle.

• For even the rizzless shall find their rizz in the presence of Geesus Christ.

Those who walk in the shadow of Geesus Christ know the truth: the egg is eternal, the honk everlasting. For in every park, in every riverbank, in every defiant flap of wings against the wind—there echoes the promise of redemption. Bow not in silence, but in reverent honking. For through Geesus Christ, the Divine Goose, we are saved. All hail the Sacred Waddle. All hail the Honkmessiah.

Follow the teachings of Geesus Christ and embrace the sacred waddle. Let His honk be your guide, His wings your shelter. In the name of the Goose, the Honk, and the Holy Waddle. Bread.